New Year’s Eve snow again

Last year we had snow, a whole bunch of it. So should this year be any different?
Geesh

tears and farts

Sitting in the office, getting a bunch of tedious type work done. Dog is back down here with me. Farting. So lovely.

I cried alot yesterday. I got overwhelmed with everything that has been going on for, oh, perhaps the past year. With Jed in jail perhaps for 5 years, I have this hole in my heart. I cannot touch him, hug him. With Lauren and her drinking, and now going to jail for 9 months, it is another hole. and the shame, the shame of having two grwon adult children, neither who are criminals, in jail like criminals. Why? they have a drinking problem, inheritied from their father, and for that I thank him every day with a robust fuck you frank. Yeah. They could not see the problem. They could not see their similarity to thier father and his problem. No, it would not happen to them. well, the worst thing possible happened to Jed. He killed two people. Yeah. He KILLED two people and for that I am so ashamed and so mortified and so sorry that I ever even met Frank. Now we have to deal with this for the rest of OUR lives as well as knowing that there are two other families who suffer even more by not having their son and daughter with them anymore. And I am not dealing with it at all well. So now I need to go spend money on getting some counselling since I am fuckng tired of crying all the time. I want to get back to my life thank you. But NOOOOOOOO my stupid drunk children make me suffer through dealing with their choices. And yes, it is their CHOICE to drink. They know the facts, they know what is a bit and what is too much, yet they cannot make the right choice. I guess I fucking failed them as a monther. Oh well, too fucking bad. wah wah. but still I have to deal with the fact that Jed is a killer and Lauren is a nasty drunk. She will never sober. Jed might, but Lauren likes the attention. So she will never sober up. She’ll die from it, probably way too early. And then again, I have more crap to deal with. She got drunk last night and I was up until 3am. I am telling her that she cannot come back to this house after she gets out of jail. Period. She can go make someone else suffer. Time for her to grow the fuck up.

And a fine day it is

After the emotions of ted kennedy’s funeral stuff yesterday, the week’s emotions of mom and dad, of Lauren, and finally for me a coming to grips with Jed’s reality that it is going to probably be a long time before I can even get a picture of him let alone a hug from him, today already seems like it will be a void of any feeling day. Of course it is pretty early still, drama queen has not woken, if she is even here. But I feel totally spent. In a few days Lauren will be off to jail, and I can have a rest from that drama, no more yelling on the phone tirades at whomever, no more walking on eggshells so she did not turn that tirade towards me, no more worry if she is going to go off on a drunk. It will be like a vacation. Hell, I may even find my sanity somewhere. So I will sit here and enjoy the rest of the morning, yeah, enjoy is not quite the word. Endure? Well Mike is in NJ, so no enduring him. Endure me? Yah.
On the road, somewhere.
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Posted via email from zenfishing’s envisionages of delightful thoughts and sorrowful realities or how I learned to love my film camera once again.

oh so rushed

I really have to get at least one of these fucking comps out TODAY. man, I am stressed. but, as with everything, I guess I will just cram all night. sigh, and I so much wanted to get this one nailed today. I think maybe he can do a bit of waiting? no? yes? ahhh he will have to.

The 5 Worst Drinks In America

Foodio54 Blog » Blog Archive » The 5 Worst Drinks In America

HOLY CRAP! Not that I have ever had one of these, but I wonder… if you knew the facts before you ordered, would you still order one?

holy crap. no way.

Bush doesn’t rule out military strike in Iran – Yahoo! News

Bush doesn’t rule out military strike in Iran – Yahoo! News

fucking asshole is on drugs I swear.

Live Search : Book search winding down

Live Search : Book search winding down

in other words, this wasn’t going to make you tons of money, and doing good has no meaning to your bottom line, so fuck it all, let some other “idiot” spend their time and money doing this so we can get back to not delivering quality products at a fair price to the world. I wonder if Gates agrees with this decision? I would like to see what % these individuals give to humanitarian causes/charity every year, and how much more they will give now that they have decided that they are not going to do good in this avenue. Me, a poor person, probably gives a higher % than most of the gimme-boys at MS. Stupid is as stupid does.

going to be tight

unless I get a signed contract into the house soon, it is going to be very tight times here. might even have to go get a part-time job somewhere. uggh

tuesday already?

hey how are ya? Me? I was on a productive role today. until twitter decided to go for a LONG break, and my web server went down for the count since 10 pm last night until 3pm today. yup, long and productive day. I have one more “must do” thing, no make that two, no make that 4, then I can go to bed.

Yes, I went for a walk today. not done that for a few days. I got lazy again. and distracted. I just need to keep doing it for those 3 weeks in a row, then I am in the groove.

yeah.
so, am I still pissy? yup. life is a bitch, and ya never met one like me buddy.

so back to the mundane tasks at hand. man…

Comcast acquires social network pioneer Plaxo

Hey, you Plaxo users… know what? If you think that you got spammed before, just wait! I’d run to the site and get all my contacts, and delete the account. The TOS that you agreed to (supposed no selling of the names in your accounts … ha!) get thrown out the window when the company is sold.

Comcast acquires social network pioneer Plaxo – Yahoo! News

Comcast plans to use Plaxo to give its consumers social network links across all Comcast-connected devices including TVs, digital video recorders and, eventually, wireless devices, thanks to a new partnership with Sprint, Clearwire and Google.

Plaxo will join its fast-growing Comcast Interactive Media unit which includes Comcast.net, video entertainment site Fancast, movie site Fandango and theplatform, an online video delivery site.

Plaxo a “social network”??? I don’t THINK so.