my buddy

I can’t really write all that much now, I am still crying. We had to put Pounder to sleep today. Vet said it was time. That protrusion on his ass was a tumor. It suddenly appeared I think it was in November. He had been pooping with difficulty for a bit, especially after he refused to eat dog food anymore this summer. He’d walk around pooping as he went. I guess the tumor was blocking him. And the indignity of having to have us wipe his butt every time I know bothered him. Mike took him in. I had brought him upstairs for a bit before that, to eat and be there. I knew he was not going to come home, even though that was not planned. He had run around like a little puppy, tossing his bone, and even eating a couple biscuits. But it was time. I washed his face, he had weepy eyes, and kissed him, I knew he was taking his last car ride. I can’t stop crying. he was my buddy, friend, confidant. He sat by my side when I spent a week crying after Jed’s accident. He always was happy to see me. Even this morning, when I went downstairs, he got up slowly and was smiling at me saying “hi mom good morning, I gotta go pee.”

damn. When is all of this pain going to stop? when?

kids, dog, parents. I want it to stop.
Now I have to tell the kids.