24 Jan, 2010  |  Written by zenfishing  |  under just thinking

Powered by Twitter Tools

23 Jan, 2010  |  Written by zenfishing  |  under Uncategorized

Fire tonight. seems that every winter in Norwich we have at least one big one. This one was at the sober house on Prospect St.

I heard the first engine and it stopped close, so I looked out all the side and back windows, then went to front windows. Yup, two plumes of smoke, from front and back windows, I know a bit about fires, but I could see no flames but the smoke was “tight” so it was pretty close downt he street. about oh maybe 5-10 minutes later, more sirens, so I look and still plumes. Then a few minutes later, the sirens in the distance, plus the old school sirens, and when I looked out, uggh.. flames jumping up. big flames. So I headed down the street, and it is a blaze. I get all the way there, realize I should have taken my camera. Watched the blaze really soar out of the front of the house. man… so I walked briskly back to the house, 5 blocks, uphill, got the camera, and drove back down. No, I am not going to walk back up the hill. I take a few shots, but the camera is not liking exposure, and I remembered I had gone down to ISO200, so I bumped it quickly to ISO800, and got some more shots, I also opened the flash for some, and they, with some exposure help in photoshop, are the clearest, but grainy like 800 film would be. The one shot of the firemen on the trucks was only bumped up a little, and it is pretty focused. All were handheld.

and so with that… good night.

 

Posted via web from zenfishing’s envisionages of delightful thoughts and sorrowful realities or how I learned to love my film camera once again.

19 Jan, 2010  |  Written by zenfishing  |  under just thinking

Last year I wrote you a birthday post. You never read it I know. But it came from my heart. Maybe I had some sort of premonition that the year would bring about this fucked up scenario. Or maybe I just needed to yell to the world that you are and have been the light of my life. You will always be the light.
I wish I could hold you, I wish I could text you today saying happy birthday, and have you come over for your birthday meal. I wish I could just stop crying. I am not sure I am going to make it through today. I knew the holidays would be ok, there are others that I can be with. But today. today is the day I have feared, and it is gripping my throat right now. I want to scream and cry that you are a good person. Why did this have to happen to you. Why could I not have driven you home that night. Why could I not have taken your place. I hurt so much for you Jed. I want to take your pain away. I want someone or something to take mine away. I am just so scared of the next few months. Am I going to be able to handle the court, the sentencing, the making the rest of your life a hell on earth. I know you still blame yourself for Rex’s murder. I know you never mourned that loss. I know that for some reason, you have been on that edge for many years, that drinking pulled you back from it, temporarily. I was reading your MySpace page once, and I was very taken back by your writing there. It scared me. But I want you to know that I love you with all my heart. all my being. I want you to be whole again. I want you to be out of that hell you are in, both in body and mind.
You be good Jed.

This SimpleViewer gallery requires Macromedia Flash. Please open this post in your browser or get Macromedia Flash here.
This is a WPSimpleViewerGallery

17 Jan, 2010  |  Written by zenfishing  |  under just thinking

Powered by Twitter Tools

10 Jan, 2010  |  Written by zenfishing  |  under just thinking
  • who replaced my Giants with the local losing high school team? This is painful to watch. #
  • @Kenny_Wallace Being a Giants fan, I wish Favre would retire right now! in reply to Kenny_Wallace #
  • @IndieBusiness you are very welcome. in reply to IndieBusiness #
  • RT @dailydesigning: Daily Design New Post: Green Leafs http://bit.ly/7LFzxq #
  • @naominiles You too? Sick on Sat-Sun, I was OK yesterday, but back to crappyness today. I have too much work to be sick! in reply to naominiles #
  • My dog ate two eggrolls this morning that had been on coffee table from dinner. He is now a huge fart. Seriously sounds like a motorboat. #
  • wah wah. Some people should just shut the fuck up and actually DO something instead of expecting others to do for them. #
  • @jonathanfields so true. If more lived with this guidepost, it would be such a different place. One person at a time… in reply to jonathanfields #
  • @naominiles feels good to get that done eh? I am working on an EE site and I am not a programmer type, but it is working OK. Thesis, blech. in reply to naominiles #

Powered by Twitter Tools

8 Jan, 2010  |  Written by zenfishing  |  under life sucks

not really

Lauren is adjusting, her calls go from a rant on how horrible everything is (well, it is prison, what did she expect? La-la land?) to being OK. Monday she called, and i listened to 14 minutes of her non-stop bitching, and one minute of “oh I am sorry, how are you, well I am hating this” . Then on Wednesday she called again and a totally different person and conversation. But enough time writing on the emotional drain that my DD can be.

Jed was moved to a new block, and he was able to call last night. He is doing much better, has a roomie that is cleaner and does not snore. He gets a better rec time, and the people in the block are more “normal” and not basket cases like the intensive care he was in. He sounded so much better.

His case took a turn last month, there is “new” evidence and I am not sure what happened, but it may very well get the charges dropped. His lawyer seems to think that after the tests which are the new evidence, is in, he may get lower charges. Anything please lord. Jed has said from the start, even the day when he called about the accident, that the other car ran the light. He now does not even remember that being said to me, but I remember it clearly. Chances are that is very true. If it is, next year he may be home. If it is not true, then it will be probably another 9 years before he is home. Which sucks but it is what we are all prepared for. I am not getting my hopes up, but it does sound good. Can’t go into it specifically, but, maybe there is a god after all. And that he does let truth and justice prevail. But I deep down doubt it. I can pray for a million things, but I never ever believe that anything will change on this.

I only ask one question a lot. What the fuck did I do to deserve this crap? Jed is a good person. Yeah, I know it is an age old question, why do bad things happen to good people. the bible thumpers think that by praying about it, it can change. It ain’t going to fucking change things. If praying does change things, I’ll fucking become religious. Chances of that…. 0.

anyway. rant over.
Lord, if you are truly a just, omnipotent ruler of the world, Jed does not deserve to be in jail, it was not his fault totally. The other driver was drunk too and has to shoulder his part of the blame. He was no saint. There were also drugs in his system. Not in Jed’s, he does not do drugs of any sort. So let’s get this evidence thing cleared. Feb 3rd is next court. I need some rest from this. Please.

1 Jan, 2010  |  Written by zenfishing  |  under photo stuff, stuffs

This sweet little candy has made me fall in love. Yes, that good. Mmmmmmmmmm

 

Bad Behavior has blocked 3 access attempts in the last 7 days.