and it goes on, life sucks, it sucks to be me

it’s tough. I used to be able to text Jed and “talk” to him. Can’t do that now.
it’s tough. Lauren and him have not gone more than a few days without talking, even when they are pissed at each other. She misses hi fiercely. She graduated from OIC Friday night. He could not see it. Yet, he has not been charged with anything but DUI and that bail is usually 10,000 and we would have him bailed out by now. He may never be charged with anything more. But his bail sits at 500,000.
Absurd.
He is not going anywhere, he is not going to go out and do anything like this again, yet he is being held with the bond of a murderer, when all he had was an accident. They ran a blinking red light. That means stop. Like a stop sign. Wait until it is clear to go. They didn’t. Girl in back seat who was killed, was half naked. Jed has to sit in a jail as a top level criminal. His bail is not something that we can afford ever. It hurts. it hurts so deep. I think of him constantly. every second I wonder what he is doing, if he is OK, if he is getting along with others. He was put out into general population on friday or saturday. He’ll be moved back here soon, for his next trial date in 2 weeks. It hurts. I write him every day. even if I have nothing to say, I find something. it hurts.

but not as much as it will hurt when Lauren goes to jail. It’s different with her. She knowingly drove after drinking and without a license. got caught again on Monday. she got out with no bail, the cops felt sorry for her. they know her that well. she was stupid and drunk. and stupid. in a few months I’ll have more letters to write and more visits to make to a jail. This is even more hurtful.

WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? I am a good person. I have not harmed a soul ever. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME. This so totally sucks. So much.